TJ and Anna's Wedding

It was a beautiful day for a wedding! Although I only went for pics I thought I'd snap some pics to remember it by!

Dad and Mom

Anna and her bridesmaids

Anna looking beautiful!

Peter!!!

I think I'll find Seth in Peter's bed more often after the twins arrive. This due to Seth just wanting sleep, and since the babies will be in our room for a bit I think Seth will find comfort here.

Peter loves his Cubby!

And his Daddy!

A Phone Conversation:

Sarah: Hello?

Man: May I speak to Seth?

Sarah: Can I tell him who's calling?

Man: National Auto Division.

Sarah: Can I ask what this is in regards to?

Man: His vehicle.

Sarah: Which one?

Man: I can't disclose that information.

Sarah: Well, then you can't talk to him.

Man: Oh... (line goes dead)

Everything wrong with this conversation:

1. We only have one vehicle

2. My name is on the vehicle also, they should know that.

3. They probably didn't even know the vehicle type anyway.

4. Telemarketing people can be so lame.

Yesterday and Today

Yesterday was Isaac's birthday. We visited the cemetery with Peter for the first time. Although he doesn't understand it yet we still told him who Isaac and Luke are. He enjoyed looking at the bears that are on their gravestone and even waved and said 'Hi' to them.

Today is Luke's birthday.

Happy Birthday, my angels. Love You and Miss You!

3 Years

Angel by Beverley Mitchell

Have you ever met an angel
Whose smile is like the sun
Whose laugh is like a melody
That reaches everyone
Have you ever hugged an angel
Swept up in their embrace
And swear, there’s nothing
In this world that makes you feel that safe

Have you ever really loved an angel
Once you have, you’ll never be the same again
Have you ever had to let go of an angel
Say goodbye, let ‘em fly
My angels
My best friends

Have you felt the strength of an angel
When you needed it the most
Lifted by those gentle wings
You know you’re not alone
Every now and then
I feel the peace inside
Wherever life may take me
I’m guided by that light

Have you ever really loved an angel
Once you have, you’ll never be the same again
Have you ever had to let go of an angel
Say goodbye, let ‘em fly
My angels
My best friends

'Cause I have really loved an angel
(And I will never be the same again) How could I ever be the same
'Cause I have had to let go of my angel
Say goodbye (goodbye), let 'em fly
My angels
My best friends

click here to listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx0veIkhd8w

We love you Isaac and Luke!

CONGRATS!!!

YAY!!

TJ and Anna are married!!

Congrats! You both looked great today!

Early Christmas!

Instead of waiting for Christmas for our gifts from my parents, Seth and I decided to take money and purchase a new camera. We haven't had a new one since our wedding 5 years ago. Ours was not working properly and I would have to wait what seemed like forever, in order for the camera to register the memory card. Yesterday we went to Target and bought a Nikon Coolpix L100. This camera is not top quality by any means, but it does all the necessary functions and more. For what we use a camera for it is the best for it's price. With 10mpx, 15x optical zoom, and 4x digital zoom, I can capture great pictures.

Here is the first picture taken of Peter with the camera. I was playing with it in the car while we were stuck in construction traffic for 20 minutes on 131.

With the sport continuous shot I can capture 30 frames at 1.2 frames per second. This allows me to capture shots like Cubby shaking without blurriness!

more comparisons later!!

Keeping better track...

Since I've been on bed rest I've been keeping better track of my expenses. Having twins isn't going to be cheap so I wanted to start seeing where we would be able to safe. I should have done this years ago...then maybe I could have saved myself a lot more money. As I look at what we've done this year in attempts to save, or things mother nature has done (The cool summer where we didn't have to run the air and this past weekend where the heat didn't run at all!!) I've noticed some great things about our expenses!

• In the first 5 months of the year we spent more on cable, phone, and internet than we did in the last 7 months. How? We switched providers and cut our cable. We don't use it much any way, and most shows we like to watch we can find on Hulu.com. Not only did we increase our savings on these amenities but we also increased our family time! What a wonderful thing to say! Not only that but my projections for what we are going to save next year by being with the current provider is we will be spending 46% LESS than what we would have with the other.

• These last two months are critical for our heat/air/gas bill (Consumers Energy). We normally see a great increase in the payment due around now. But this summer did save us. We turned our air on very rarely (and that wasn't easy with me being pregnant and warm most the time!). And in the first 2 months of fall we have had such great weather that our air can't run at it's current setting anyway! This is what I call a blessing!!!

It will be interesting to compare next years figures to this years. I hope to keep track of it like I have this year. It'll be much easier come tax time, since I plugged some of those numbers in as well...like how much we spent on medical! Whooooweeeeee, now there's a big number! Not to mention our home and upgrades and/or repairs that we spent this year! So glad we finally finished the basement!

Maybe next summer we can finally find money to take a family vacation!!! Maybe!

Things Remembered

To my sons:

I have yet to see what lies before me but I know what lies in my past. There are things I would like to live over and there are things I would like to forget. There are songs in my head that play out my life and tell a story I should not forget.
Happiness is as what it should be and pain is what ill choices and sadness brings. My life consists a portion of each the balance of which is not always seen.

The happiness I have lived I would like to repeat but sadly this cannot be. Time has a way of changing things and to try and repeat them would only be a poor copy. However this does not deter me and I continue on to try and repeat the things I so long for. My family brings me joy as nothing else has. They are precious to me and I would not change a thing. I have very fond memories of things in the past, of times of great joy and happiness. I try to repeat them, to make them just right, but it never seems to turn out the way I had in mind. They create something different and unique, yet another fond memory.

The moments in the past that bring sadness to me are like a play with each its own act. The play continues to move on in my head it seems without any end. I have yet to determine its type but it seems to me to be a tragedy that I cannot forget. The decisions I have made will not rest. They come back each night to build my regret. They know I am weakened and continue to push on. They are hoping for my failure and nothing else will they have. The debate is there and it is fierce. The two sides face off with malice and no fear. Brought to my knees I finally give up, praying to God for some measure of hope.

I am brought back to reason and to the world we live in. I remember it now how could I forget. Two little ones, so frail and so weak, eyes closed shut and gasping for air. I am clearly disturbed, as the memory takes me in, to the time in my life that I just wouldn't let in. The doctor calls me over he wants me to hold them. So in my arms I am given my first born son.

We knew his name though not his face. He was to be called Isaac Robert our son. The name was dear to me as we had spent so many months trying to pick it out. I hold him gently as he slowly slips away. There are no tears to be had as my reality is taken from me. I have no more emotions there is too much to comprehend. I just sit in awe as the things unravel and as I begin to realize the new reality I am in. Just when I thought I had figured it out it was time for the second to be held.

Luke Alan was no less a sight for my eyes to be held. He too would be part of this great tragedy we are in. Watching and holding one in this state was more than enough but I knew it had to be done. I held him gently like I had his twin brother. Looking at his eyes closed tight. He was so small I just was not ready for it all. I just stood there and watched one struggle at a time for a gasp of air that he could never find. This continued for quite sometime; I don't know how that time ever passed by. Then they took them from us no more to be seen as we were left to struggle with our new reality. I have never forgotten the events of that day and I still have a longing to hold them once again. They are a piece of us that will remain un-lived; something captured in a past memory.

I want to live it over; make it better somehow but I am stuck with were I am now. Time eases things; makes them better somehow but it doesn't erase the memories and questions I still have now. I take solace in what the dear Lord has given me. I would not give up the life I live now but I am still torn with the past that I had wanted so bad. Boys I miss you and I wish I could have seen your reality fulfilled. You lay heavy on my heart and I won't ever forget you.

Your Dad

Another Book Review

It's a great thing to be able to read to pass time while on bed rest.

Romy's Walk by Peggy Stoks

Yes, I know, another Christian romance novel. But I got all these books for free from a friend of my sisters and they are good books!

Romy (which rhymes with Tommy) is a school teacher in the 1880's that has moved from home and everything she knows of the midwest to the growing western culture in the Washington Territory. Being described as the best teacher this town has ever had is an understatement to most folks. When a horrible accident jepordizes her teaching career, not to mention her life, Romy begins to question God's goodness in her life. When everything thats not right seems to be piling on top of her, she finds it hard to continue her faith in God. Romy is fragile yet stubborn and her walk becomes the healing part of her faith.